The Lord is Near

Last winter, a young girl was date-raped and became pregnant. We learned about her in early February when she was 15 weeks along and planning an abortion. Out of the heartache I felt for her and her baby, I wrote this post. God did many amazing things at that time. I look back in both amazement and fondness because of how close He felt and how undeniably He spoke to me. I thank Him for giving me the opportunity to channel the pain Joel and I had suffered at the hands of infertility into a letter of encouragement. A letter to a girl whose name we did not even know. But a letter that ultimately helped change the tides of her baby's fate. We learned in August that she had given birth to a healthy baby boy and a sweet couple from the great state of Minnesota had adopted him. I truly believe God has big plans for this little boy.

One of the many beautiful things about this story is that it created a defining moment in February that propelled us to get off the couch, stop feeling sorry for ourselves, and move forward with our adoption plans. Moreover, despite our pursuit of international adoption, we instead felt God strongly leading us toward domestic adoption through this young girl's situation. Needless to say, we followed His lead and are so very glad we did. Because what we didn't know was around that very same moment, in the cold darkness of February, a little girl was conceived in Chicago...and eight months later her mother would be choosing us as her adoptive parents. While nothing is certain until 72 hours after the birth, when parental rights are relinquished, we are hopeful. We see God's hand in all the details. Too many to chronicle in this post!

We get to meet the young birth mother on Thursday. A part of me wants to hug her so hard she can't breathe (and probably start crying all over her). The other part wants to simply shake her hand and smile. Since learning she picked us, we have been wavering between over-the-roof excitement and extreme caution. With this baby coming in a matter of weeks, we have had to find the balance between preparing our home and our hearts, and protecting them. It is anxiety-inducing to say the least! And at the same time, it's all I could have hoped for or imagined.

No matter how this plays out, the truth of the matter is that God is here. It's unquestionable, even in the midst of uncertainty. If this is truly our baby then watch out...I'm gonna be the crazy lady running through the streets of Chicago screaming "Hallelujah!" And if she's not, then we will trust God in our disappointment and wait patiently on Him to lead us to another. Because He is good and has made it His job to redeem all things. Until then, this is my mantra...

The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 4:5b-7