Why?

I've been thinking a lot about a girl. A girl in a very messy situation. I do not know her name, only a small part of her story. A story that I'm technically not supposed to know, but praying to be a part of. It has me thinking about reasons and opportunities. Ways in which God's light can shine in the most tragic moments of our lives. It has me asking "why?" Because quite honestly I don't know why two perfectly healthy people in a loving marriage can't get pregnant. I don't know why young girls are robbed of their innocence. I just don't know. But I do know that no matter our situation, God does not abandon us. I know that he can, and does, bless us in the midst of it. And that the trials we face can themselves be unexpected blessings.

This afternoon I started studying the book of Hosea. I love how God never fails to align my studies with the grit of my current circumstances. And this study is no exception. In the excerpt below, Dr. James Montgomery Boice comments on how God led Hosea into an adulterous marriage, and subsequently into a world of immense heartache and personal anguish (from The Minor Prophets, 2 vol.):

"We live in an age where everything good is interpreted in terms of happiness and success. So when we think of spiritual blessing we think of it in these terms. To be led by God and be blessed by God means that we will be 'happy' and 'successful.' ...This is shallow thinking and shallow Christianity. ...God sometimes leads his children to do things that afterward involve them in great distress. But because God does not think as we think or act as we act, it is often in these situations that he accomplishes his greatest victories and brings the greatest blessing to his name."

I can't tell you how many times in the last two years I've asked God, "why?" And how many more times I've pleaded with Him to someday show me a reason. To know that every childless month, and every tear shed, has not been for naught. I trust that the day will come when God will use Joel and me to accomplish some victory in His name. Something that perhaps we could not have played a role in had our prayers for a child been answered months ago. Until then, I pray for vigilance, patience and wisdom. And most of all I pray for a girl in an unfathomable situation. That she will know God's faithfulness and allow Him to use this moment in her life to bring blessing to His name.

I will commit myself to you forever; I will commit myself to you in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love and tender compassion. I will commit myself to you in faithfulness.
- Hosea 2:19-20