Well, it appears as though Joel and I are going to camp out at the intersection of our crossroads for a while. Several things happened over the last week that ultimately led to an emotional meltdown this morning (yep, another one). It's officially time to say 'no' to something. Time to clear the plate and focus on one thing at a time. Being only three weeks away from moving into our new abode and beginning our remodeling project, we are choosing to focus on the house. We are both tired, frazzled and cross-eyed. One minute we're discussing hard wood floors and kitchen cabinetry, the next minute we're trying to decide which of the 15 different paths we should take to figure out what the heck is wrong with me (reproductively speaking...although many would argue differently). Then the next minute we're sifting through adoption agencies and filling out pre-application forms. Mentally, emotionally, and financially it's just time to step back. Take a deep breath. Focus on the house. ENJOY the house. Enjoy each other's company.
In choosing the house, Joel and I have chosen to take a couple months off from all things baby. Alas, I am packing up the thermometer and ovulation predictor strips. As for the pregnancy tests, if I hadn't paid good money for them I'd just as soon throw them away...or maybe burn them. Yes, burning them would be glorious. Die HPT's! Die!! But no, those will be packed up, too. Maybe someday they will decide to play nice. Until then...onward we go. Finally on the same page. Finally pointed in the same direction. Finally with the time and space to think. To process. To pray. And to once again lean fully on a mysterious, yet mighty God.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
-Psalm 126:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
-Proverbs 3:5-6
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