Concerning Lemons...

I attended the baby shower of a very dear friend on Saturday morning. She has been living in San Francisco for the last year, so I was thankful we had an opportunity to celebrate her while she was in Madison for work. My friend and her mother are the type of women who effortlessly make everything better. They are talented artists, incredible gardeners and landscapers, phenomenal chefs. So it was no surprise that this simple, yet elegant, baby shower looked like something straight out of a Martha Stewart magazine. The table decorations were lovely. The food was outstanding. The ambiance perfect. And the best part was that our party favors included a small jar of homemade marmalade and one beautiful lemon...fresh off of my friend's lemon tree in San Francisco.

Later that evening, I made a lovely loaf of honey-wheat bread. While it was still warm, I tried out the marmalade (made from fresh California grapefruit, oranges and lemons). It was incredible. My taste buds had found their happy place. The lemon, I tucked away in the refrigerator, where it waits for just the right recipe in which to lend its flavor.

In the background of these wonderful celebrations and taste explosions, an entirely different drama was unfolding. One that I had been keenly aware of, and fervently praying about. I was given the opportunity to use my experiences over the last two years in order to encourage someone in a very dark place. A young woman on the brink of making a life-changing choice. So as the bread was baking and my stomach was growling, I wrote a letter to a woman I had never met. It was an incredible experience. I truly felt God working in those hours of writing. It was therapy for me. And I sincerely hope my words and experiences will be a blessing to this young lady in her time of need.

It wasn't until 15 minutes ago that I realized the symbolism of this day. I was literally and figuratively given a lemon...and along with it, the opportunity to create something beautiful. This is exciting because I live in Wisconsin. The frozen tundra. Receiving a freshly-picked lemon in the middle of February is not an everyday occurrence around these parts. So the fact that I was presented with a lemon at the very moment I was about to take the "lemon" of infertility and channel it into a letter that would hopefully impact a young woman's life for the better, is just...so...perfect. And just so God.

Maybe I am reading far more into this than I should. But for now, in my crazy little world, it makes sense. It makes me happy. And it has me dreaming of all the tasty creations I can make with my sour little lemon. I will let you know what I decide!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
- Romans 8:35-39

Why?

I've been thinking a lot about a girl. A girl in a very messy situation. I do not know her name, only a small part of her story. A story that I'm technically not supposed to know, but praying to be a part of. It has me thinking about reasons and opportunities. Ways in which God's light can shine in the most tragic moments of our lives. It has me asking "why?" Because quite honestly I don't know why two perfectly healthy people in a loving marriage can't get pregnant. I don't know why young girls are robbed of their innocence. I just don't know. But I do know that no matter our situation, God does not abandon us. I know that he can, and does, bless us in the midst of it. And that the trials we face can themselves be unexpected blessings.

This afternoon I started studying the book of Hosea. I love how God never fails to align my studies with the grit of my current circumstances. And this study is no exception. In the excerpt below, Dr. James Montgomery Boice comments on how God led Hosea into an adulterous marriage, and subsequently into a world of immense heartache and personal anguish (from The Minor Prophets, 2 vol.):

"We live in an age where everything good is interpreted in terms of happiness and success. So when we think of spiritual blessing we think of it in these terms. To be led by God and be blessed by God means that we will be 'happy' and 'successful.' ...This is shallow thinking and shallow Christianity. ...God sometimes leads his children to do things that afterward involve them in great distress. But because God does not think as we think or act as we act, it is often in these situations that he accomplishes his greatest victories and brings the greatest blessing to his name."

I can't tell you how many times in the last two years I've asked God, "why?" And how many more times I've pleaded with Him to someday show me a reason. To know that every childless month, and every tear shed, has not been for naught. I trust that the day will come when God will use Joel and me to accomplish some victory in His name. Something that perhaps we could not have played a role in had our prayers for a child been answered months ago. Until then, I pray for vigilance, patience and wisdom. And most of all I pray for a girl in an unfathomable situation. That she will know God's faithfulness and allow Him to use this moment in her life to bring blessing to His name.

I will commit myself to you forever; I will commit myself to you in righteousness and justice, in steadfast love and tender compassion. I will commit myself to you in faithfulness.
- Hosea 2:19-20